– Fiule, ia-mi te rog o cola.
– Pepsi sau Cola?
– Coca Cola.
– Simplu, Light sau Zer0?
– Simplu.
– La sticla sau la doza?
– Sticla. Continue reading
funny
When did this become hotter than this?
Just asking…
Fac ce vreau, de ziua mea!
Mulţi ani trăiască! La muuuuuuuuuuuulţi ani!
Good morning.
My alarm clock is clearly jealous of my amazing relationship with my bed.
Every morning you have two choices, continue your sleep with dreams or WAKE UP and chase your dreams. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
De Ignat.
Nu ştiu cine e autorul, dar am furat textul de pe Facebook, de la domnul C. Timotei. M-a făcut să răd, amintindu-mi de porcii pârliţi, opăriţi şi fierţi, din anii copilăriei mele când, tata- nevoie mare, ne chema pe toţi grămadă, să călărim porcul, să fie mai uşor la ras. Când îmi dădea bucată de ureche, înmuiată în sare, iar eu strâmbam din nas, sensibiloasă fiind. La şoric, însă, nu ziceam nu, nici la pifteluţele rumenite auriu, cu miros de usturoi. Eh!
“De criză, de dor și de fițe mi-a venit ideea să tai porc de Crăciun, cum se făcea pe timpuri la mine la țară. Bine, ai mei nu îl tăiau de Crăciun, ci înainte de Sfântul Andrei, noi nemaiavînd răbdare ! și nici prea multe prin cămară să-l putem păsui pînă la Ignat. Continue reading
Poza zilei: Alo?
It made me LOL. Priviţi numai cât extaz pe faţa lui!
Joke: A dog, a cat and a penis…
A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, “My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!”. The cat says, “I don’t think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter.” The penis outraged, says “At least your master doesn’t put a bag over your head and make you do push ups until you throw up!
Joke: Do you still believe in goblins?
One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.
“You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and you owe me three wishes!”.
So the goblin replies “OK, you caught me fair and square, what’s your first wish?”
The woman stops and thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion to live in.”
Goblins replies “OK, you’ve got it.”
Woman again thinks it over, “My second wish is a Mercedes.”
“OK, you’ve got that too.”
“My last wish is a million dollars!”.
The goblin then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me.”
“OK then, if that’s what it takes…”
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?”
“I’m 27”, she replies
“Fuck me”, says the man, “27 and you still believe in goblins???”
JOKE: I could be dead
Peter called his doctor’s office for an appointment.
-“I’m sorry,” said the receptionist, “we can’t fit you in for at least two weeks.”
-“But I could be dead by then!”
-“No problem. If your wife lets us know, we’ll cancel the appointment.”
Joke: What about now?
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband:
“When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?”
The husband replied:
“All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry.”
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked:
“What are you thinking now?”
He replied, “It looks as if I did a pretty good job.”
Good morning, Sunday!
Are you in a good mood?
Oh well, then:
Nightmares Fear Factory
Am găsit pe Facebook profilul celor de la Nightmares Fear Factory- prima casă bântuită- ca punct de atracţie turistică, la Cascada Niagara. Pozele sunt demenţiale! Mi-aş dori să ajung acolo şi sunt deja curioasă cât de infricosător poate să fie? Păcat- mare păcat că românii noştri nu ştiu să profite de povestea lui Dracula. Aş împuşca-o pe Udrea şi i-aş folosi moţul blond drept perucă pentru vrăjitoare!
Joke: There are four kinds of sex
HOUSE SEX – When you are newly married and have sex all over the HOUSE in every room.
BEDROOM SEX – After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX – After you’ve been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say “FUCK YOU”!
COURTROOM SEX – When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce COURT in front of many people for every penny you’ve got.
Grapefruits - blog scris cu vitamine 